The Proust Questionnaire
I’ve participated in two “viral” questionnaires in recent weeks–this one and this one. Quite a few other folks in our Buddhist blogging community participated as well. I really enjoyed reading everyone’s answers, and thought it might be fun to initiate a new one. Since I’m a sucker for the Proust Questionnaire section of each month’s Vanity Fair (I know, I know…), I thought I might start that around. My answers are below.
To (hopefully) get the ball rolling, I’ll tag James, Ven. Loden Jinpa, Tom, Stephen, Sujatin, and James. Of course, I’d also invite you to leave your answers here in the comments.
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Being completely comfortable in my own skin, without feeling like I need to be this or do that or change this or change that.
What is your greatest fear?
Dying without having felt that way more often.
Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Tolstoy.
Which living person do you most admire?
Desmond Mpilo Tutu.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
I’m often “nice” when I should be real, and “real” when I should be nice.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
I don’t like it when people fail to consider or take seriously the feelings of others. The inability to put oneself in another’s shoes is deplorable to me.
What is your greatest extravagance?
I eat out a lot and buy too many books. (I need to learn how to cook and use my library card.)
What is your favorite journey?
Kora around the Mahabodhi Mahavihara in Bodh Gaya.
What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Definitely “niceness.”
On what occasion do you lie?
Usually when I’m trying to be “nice.”
What do you dislike most about your appearance?
I dunno. I think I’d look kinda goofy no matter what. It’s not like there’s one thing that’s really bringing me down.
Which living person do you most despise?
Despise is a strong word that I’m not terribly comfortable with. (Everybody has buddha-nature, right?) That said, I have little patience for those who oppress or demean others.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
“Um” and the f-word.
What is your greatest regret?
That I’m such a slow learner when it comes to important life lessons.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Ask me when I’m 80.
Which talent would you most like to have?
I wish I had that thing where math, music, and languages made more intuitive sense to me.
What is your current state of mind?
A little blue. Increasingly cynical, and sad about that.
If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?
A Cousin Oliver might spice things up!
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Any and all of the moments when I have managed to be a fearless, authentic human being.
If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?
Well, I’ve taken the bodhisattva vow, so I think part of that means I’ve made a contract with the universe to come back again as a human being.
If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be?
A golden retriever.
What is your most treasured possession?
I was given an award by the administration and student government when I graduated from Naropa University. That I was so honored by a community I love and respect so much makes me feel really good. So my answer is that award.
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
A broken heart.
Where would you like to live?
Wherever I feel love from others and can give it back to them.
What is your favorite occupation?
I think chaplaincy suits me very well.
What is your most marked characteristic?
I think I’m generally well-intentioned.
What is the quality you most like in a man?
The ability to be real.
What is the quality you most like in a woman?
The ability to be real.
What do you most value in your friends?
The ability to be real.
Who are your favorite writers?
Tolstoy, Shakespeare, the New England Transcendentalists, the New Journalists, humorists who write for the New Yorker, Neruda, haiku poets, Frank Miller, Alan Moore, Tony Kushner, Alice Walker, Anne Lamott, Studs Terkel…
Who is your favorite hero/heroine of fiction?
Atticus Finch.
Who are your heroines/heroes in real life?
Asociación Madres de Plaza de Mayo, Shirin Ebadi, Elise Boulding, Joan Chittister, Cindy Sheehan, Aung San Suu Kyi, Patti Smith, Sister Helen Prejean, Carol J. Adams, Wangari Maathai, Master Cheng Yen, Virginia Satir, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Mohandas K. Gandhi, the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Fr. Mychal Judge, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Maha Ghosananda, Bruce Springsteen, Archbishop Oscar Romero, Dennis Kucinich, Henri Nouwen, Fred Rogers…
What are your favorite names?
I love finding out what people’s Dharma names are.
What is it that you most dislike?
Apathy.
How would you like to die?
Perhaps it’s a romantic or naive notion on my part, but I think I would like to die slowly. I’d like to experience it. Know it’s coming. Work with it.
What is your motto?
“Be excellent to each other…and party on, dudes!” – Bill and Ted
